portuguese_tease asked: the brain is running a little slow………i am throwing my friend a baby shower. I am on a very, very tight budget (i have 2 babies that i stay at home with and i am currently going through a divorce. so you can imagine how tight the budget is.). my friend asked me […]
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also, i bought her a cute baby sleeper, pacifier clip, and baby booties for her gift. i gave her a lot of really nice things that my babies no longer needed (high chair, wipe warmer, baby books, toys, etc…). she always buys my babies very nice gifts for holidays. i almost guilty, like i should buy more things for her gift. should i be feeling this way? any advice is appreciated!
Written by World's Best on January 17th, 2008 with
14 comments.
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hockeymom_013
#2.
January 21st, 2008, at 4:55 AM.
No you dont need to get her more things. You’ve gotten her enough. And no you dont have to pay for everybody. They can pay for themselves.
angie15x
#3.
January 21st, 2008, at 6:10 AM.
For the shower issue, I would contact her mother and explain the situation. Perhaps her mother would like to contribute???
For the gifts, I would think that is plenty. However, if you feel like you didn’t get her enough, perhaps you could throw in a “coupon” to watch her newborn for a few hours so she can get a nap. That is ALWAYS well appreciated, even if she never uses it.
Lidya D
#4.
January 22nd, 2008, at 12:31 PM.
I think that the invitation should have mentioned the price of lunches: “Lunch Specials from $4.99 to $9.99.” Something like that, so that the invited would know that lunch was not free. You’ve already sent the invites out, you may want to call each guest to say “Sorry, I did not include this info…” There really isn’t anything to do about paying for the meal, if you know you don’t have the funds for it.
As for the feeling guilty part, don’t. You have given her “all that you can” and that really counts for something, especially to me. I know friends who can’t afford elaborate gifts, and homemade gifts are just good as any gift, to me anyway.
j_ace84
#5.
January 22nd, 2008, at 9:51 PM.
If you’re that close to your friend then she should understand if you’re on a tight budget. Don’t push yourself into feeling as though you need to pay for everyone, just make it known that they will be expected to pay for themselves. it shouldnt be implied that the food will be free, i had a potluck!!
Lucia V
#6.
January 24th, 2008, at 2:48 AM.
You are a great friend. First of all it depends on the culture or past events those ppl have attended, most ppl would pay for the food (ppl who throw the party) others each share the cost, everyone who is invited brings a dish or in this case will pay for themselves only 1 problem they may not be aware, maybe you should of mentioned in the invitation that it would be greatly appreciated if everyone would pay since it will be difficult for you. Not 2 late call them up and talk to your closest friends to resolve this before you end up paying money you need. Good luck…
Kari
#7.
January 26th, 2008, at 10:20 PM.
First off Does your friend know you are on a tight budget? Because at a baby shower you supply the food and entertainment for the guest and the guest supply you with the gifts. You wouldn’t send out an invitation to some one asking them to come to your house for pizza and expect them to pay for it. Make sense? The planner or mom to be is absolutely the one responsible for the food bill. It would be rude to expect your guest to come on your behalf buy you a gift and their own dinner. Lol…. I think i have made my point I hope I dont come off mean I’m not trying to. Anyway my suggestion is to talk to your friend about this maybe she is already planning on paying the bill. If not make arrangements for a baby shower at your house or her house. This is a lot cheaper just make sure to contact your guest as soon as possible to notify them of the changes. Good luck and I hope it turns out nice!
Oh also you have done plenty for your pal throwing a baby shower is extremely stressful in itself. Plus those hand me downs are awesome! I would rather get a few hand me downs that I need rather than one expensive outfit.
DrPhilamina
#8.
January 27th, 2008, at 9:23 PM.
yes, that’s kind of awkward. If you had of decided before the invitations went out, then you could have worded it somehow in the invitation. People who go to a baby shower, expect free food.
Are you close with her mom? maybe some of her relatives could chip in. Or you could do a 50/50 for guess the baby’s arrival date. You know people bet a few dollars on the date, you keep half the pot, the other half goes to whoever ends up guessing right.
Anyway, I’m a single mom too. So, I know about not having much money. You are not obligated, and shouldn’t really care if others think you are tacky. If you can’t afford it, then you tell people as they call to RSVP “oh, by the way, the cost of the buffet is $10.99″ and you make sure you tell the waitress that everyone will be getting separate bills.
Kiki
#9.
January 29th, 2008, at 7:29 PM.
i would be honest with her. don’t let pride or guilt get in the way…if she’s your friend she will understand your circumstance. i would not have agreed from the get go…it’s too much pressure when funds are limited.
it sounds like you have definitely done a good job with what you’ve done so far…be encouraged.
Mish B
#10.
January 30th, 2008, at 2:51 PM.
The lunch issue is certainly a difficult one. If you have a close friend that’s coming, maybe tell her the situation and ask if she could possibly chip in for lunch as well. A good friend would certainly udnerstand.
As far as gifts, you’ve certainly gotten her enough! A small suggestion though. Maybe after lunch you can all get together at someone’s house for some cute games. Off the top of my head, I can only think of three. The first is kinda gross, but buy a few different kinds of chocolate candy bars and melt them in the microwave one at a time and put them into a diaper and everyone has to guess what kind of candy bar it is. Another is getting one thing of yarn or string of some sort and everyone cuts off a piece they think is the right size to go around the pregnant woman’s stomach. Whoever is closest wins. And lastly, get a box and throw all kinds of baby things in like diaper, wipe, rattle, pin etc… and everyone passes the box around going through it. Then remove the box and have everyone write down everything they can remember from the box. Whoever can list the most wins.
Not really too much of a help, but something to think about.
Lori R
#11.
January 30th, 2008, at 5:21 PM.
No you are not obligated to pay but it would be nice if you had sent out that information in the invites. You could have enclosed pricing information for the buffett. It is highly possible that some people will not know they need to bring cash and pay for their own meals.
It would also be nice that you atleast pick up her lunch since she is the guest of honor
buy_me_bacardi
#12.
February 1st, 2008, at 9:25 PM.
i feel that if she is the one who wanted to have it at the restraunt then she should be responsible for the bill. i had my shower at a friends home at a time where most people would have already eaten and just had homemade deli trays for sandwiches and a homemade cake to fit my budget .do a google search for baby shower games and there are several inexpensive ones and alot of them you just use things you already have around the house.everyone will be playing games and laughing they probably wont even think about food. if there is still time i would talk to her and see about changing the location of the party. im sure the guests wouldnt mind. they may be straped for cash too and prefer it was held elsewhere and as for your gift it is more then enough since you are having the shower for her. and if she is your friend then she will be really greatful for anything you give her especially if she knows your situation. plus you have helped her out in many ways already. good luck
sarie
#13.
February 4th, 2008, at 1:04 AM.
make sure you have a diaper raffle. i got so many packages of diapers i havent had to buy a pack yet. (my son is 4 months) i still have about 15 more packages and boxes of all sizes.
Allyson
#14.
February 4th, 2008, at 7:01 AM.
First of all, it seems that you have given her plenty. If she’s a true friend she’ll know your situation and appreciate anything you have offered. One really nice/cheap gift that I love giving a new mom when they have their baby is a little gift bag full of the small/travel size beauty products. They have packets of foot soak, face masque, scrubs, lotions etc. I tuck in a little note that says dont forget to make time for yourself.
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#1. January 17th, 2008, at 9:49 PM.
You’ve done more then enough, but you should have made plans as to who is paying for the food before sending out invites. It is very tacky to ask people to pay. You should think about throwing a pot luck event at someone’s home. I’m sure everyone would understand the change of venue, plus an all you can eat would be hard to bring gifts to- who is going to take them all back for her? Who is going to watch the gifts so nothing is stolen?